The Chick-fil-a Kiss In (or "How the World Came to a Fiery End Because of the Gays")

I am having a very difficult time being serene today. I read the article written in the Fresno Bee about the Kiss In at Chick-fil-a that is scheduled for Friday. But, it is not really the article that has gotten me so out of sorts; it is the comments section.

First off: I love free speech. I love that we are free to say (almost) anything that we want, and the government will not throw us in jail. I love that my opinion is free to be whatever I want it to be. I love that others are free to give their opinions, also without fear of arrest.

This is NOT about people not being able to express themselves freely. This is about the fact that, when given this amazing right, they use it to bash and threaten others. They use it to lie and spread hatred and to imply violence (sometimes, outright say it). They use this blood-soaked right in order to fight against the rights of others.

So, it is not the fact that they USE it; it is the fact that they have made a mockery of it. And, then they hide behind it using (wait for it...) freedom of religion. Yes, they claim that they are a "God-fearing" person that just can't STAND what the homosexuals have tried to do to this country. How the gays just 'can't leave it alone" and that Chick-fil-a is filled with good people that the gays just want to harm.

Okay, I can totally get behind the idea that the people behind the counter may be good and decent people. My guess is, they are also at the bottom of the financial food chain, too, so they have nothing but my sympathy on that front. But, does that mean that the rest of us need to lay down and accept the inequality that the anti-gay agenda is trying to cement into society? Does the fact that good people may be a little uncomfortable as their managers scramble around trying to deal with the fact that the gays are in their store and (gasp) kissing, mean that we throw in the towel?

Good people were uncomfortable with integration, too, at first. When you are taught something, like bigotry, from a very early age, you accept it as your norm. And, people get upset when their norm gets questioned, or god forbid, proven wrong. Then they become like the angry cornered animal: they bite.

And, THAT is what is upsetting me so much. At an intellectual level, I understand why they are doing it (fear) and how they got there (ignorance). But, like the cornered animal, they are still to be taken seriously. Like this post:



There were many like this, but then we moved into true brother-married-sister territory:



I did think that this response to the above comment was epic:



Those were but a couple samples of the words of those wonderful "God-fearing" people. (Never understood that term...if God is love, why do they fear him so much?) Yes, it was comment after comment of how the gays want to take away their right to free speech and a huge amount said that gays should just shut the fuck up.

Yes, they told the gays to shut the fuck up after accusing them of trying to abridge their own right to free speech. I shit you not.

Here's the thing, it is not that I want them to shut up. I just want them to start using the brain in their head and THINK for a moment.

1. Chick-fil-a gave money to anti-gay organizations that actively are working to take away gay people's civil rights. This is not about having an opinion; this is about actively working to take away people's rights. There is a HUGE difference.

2. They are hiding behind a man who never said a single anti-gay word. They are using a religion that was based on being kind to others as their reason for being dicks to others. (Seriously, how do their heads not explode under this kind of dissonance?)

3. And the crux of the issue: IT DOES NOT AFFECT THEIR FUCKING LIVES IF GAY PEOPLE HAVE THE SAME CIVIL RIGHTS AS THEY DO. You have no idea how much it pains me to have to explain such a simple concept to a gradeschooler, let along an adult who should have been able to see this with their fucking eyes closed. See, taking gays people's rights away? That DOES affect them and they have EVERY GODDAMN RIGHT to be pissed and to fight back. But, gay people actually having those rights? Face it, if Fucks It Up News and that idiot on the Corner(stone) didn't TELL you to be pissed, you might actually have time in your head for the things that really SHOULD piss you off (like speculators fucking with the price of oil or that elections can be freely bought now, or the fact that our produce is now something not found in nature, or that food companies have fought (and won) the right NOT to tell you if anything in their product is a GMO).

Because, god forbid you actually get upset over something that actually WOULD affect your life.

Because, unless YOU are the one being kissed, I can tell you with great assurance, it does NOT affect you.

Protecting the President's King

Let me say right off that I understand the skepticism and the caution. President Obama, after all, waited nearly four years to say anything this unequivocal. He sat and watched while state after state chose to pull right after right away, sometimes preemptively. Sometimes he spoke up, but generally, it was weak tea.

But, this time it was different. He said:

"At a certain point, I've just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same-sex couples should be able to get married."

Now, there are two schools of thought. One is that he has "evolved," like he had stated, and that this is something that he has come to during his presidency. The other is that this is a political calculation, done to try and garner votes (whether he believes it or not is immaterial).

I am going to come out right now and say neither matters. This is still a good thing. This is a sitting president publicly throwing in his lot with lgbt people. After North Carolina, no one can deny that we need that endorsement right now. At the very least, it is a tiny bit of salve on the wound.

Should he have come out with this before the election in North Carolina? Well, do you honestly believe it would have made a difference? It was not a small margin that it lost by. I really don't believe that anyone who cared about gay rights would have stayed home just because the president hadn't given his endorsement. Honestly, I think it is a more likely scenario is that it would have riled more bigots up to get out and vote against it because Obama supported it.

But, coming on the heels of this loss...we are angered. We are hurting. We are motivated again. We are cognizant once again of what happens when we are complacent, when we don't speak loudly enough. Once again, we see the results of those who already speak loudly, with a cable news microphone, throwing lighter fluid on the flames.

And then the President comes in and sacrifices his queen for us. He knows that this will anger some people to the point that they will never vote for him again, even if they voted for him the last time. But, honestly, there were a lot of people who were going to throw this election away, because they wouldn't vote for him if he didn't come out for gay marriage. Maybe not enough to make a difference, but enough to make his election to a second term not a sure thing. And, that is too close for comfort.

Because, what would our other option be? Mitt Romney? That's not just biting off your nose to spite your face, that's lopping off the whole head. Ron Paul? Yeah, he's for gay marriage, but against rights for women and blacks. And Gingrich? He supports a federal (!) amendment to ban gay marriage.

We cannot do anything that would put any of these men and their ilk in the White House. We cannot stay home. We cannot be complacent. We cannot lose. People are waiting, with their lives on hold, for people to understand that rights are not given. That's why are called rights. But, rights have been denied and we need to change that.

President Obama is not perfect, but we don't get perfect in politics. However, when I have to chose between not perfect and perfectly awful, I will vote for not perfect everytime.

The President is no longer riding the fence. He is with us, for better or for worse. We need to have his back. We need to support him and win this election in a landslide. We also need to vote out the bigots in Congress who have been thwarting every move he has tried to make. Change cannot happen when only one person is doing it. We need to get people in there that will work with him and people who believe in fairness and equality.

He sacrificed his queen for us. Now, let's protect his King and get her back.

A Painful Blip in Time

I don't know what to say that I haven't said before. I don't know how to convince people if it didn't work before. I don't know how to hold back this tide of fear and hate that seems to be gaining tread in this country, in this world.

But, being quiet doesn't feel like an option.

Bigots won today in North Carolina. They won last week at the Methodist General Conference.

The definition of a bigot is a "person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices, especially one exhibiting intolerance, irrationality, and animosity toward those of differing beliefs."

How is deciding that others should not have the very same rights that you enjoy just by existing not being irrational and intolerant?

I am not "name-calling." I am "naming." There is a difference. This is not a word meant to hurt, but a word meant to make them open their eyes. If there is a tiny shred of humanity left in them...it just might make them listen and think about what they do.

The whole thing just makes my heart hurt and I get a feeling that we are feeling what the civil rights worker in the 60's felt. But, then, realizing that what they felt was probably even stronger and that they really were in the face of greater odds (we at least have that legislation and time to piggyback on), I feel like we can do this. This is only a blip in time and one day it'll be in a history book. And, when our grandkids read about it, we can say "We fought for equal rights. We lost friends. We lost battles. Sometimes, we lost hope. But, we picked ourselves up and we kept fighting. We did it, because it was the only right thing to do."

Hopefully, by then, this will all be over and out grandkids will be amazed that this was ever an issue.

I am not ashamed to be a Methodist...but, they should be.

Methodists vote to keep derogatory anti-gay language.

Dear Methodist General Conference,

Congratulations. You’ve just re-affirmed acceptance of homophobia in the name of a man who told you to go and love everyone…without exception.

In this day and age, one would think that we have moved past this pettiness and into a space where we can allow for love to thrive, unhindered. One would expect a world that can see what is obvious: love is love is love. One would hope that we have learned from our lessons of the past: singling out a group for derision never ends well…for anyone, but most especially for that group.

You see, you can take the Bible, point to a few carefully picked verses, and claim that this is what God wants, but I would be very careful about doing that. As soon as you start using the Bible, or Jesus, as a tool of segregation, you have totally missed the point of your religion. Moreover, you seem to have completely missed the New Testament.

Jesus didn’t put caveats, disclaimers, conditions, or rules on his order to love your neighbor. He never said that anyone had any reason that they shouldn’t be able to hang with him. In fact, he chose to hang with those who most of us wouldn’t want to share a pew with on Sundays. And, he just loved them. He never told anyone they were “incompatible “with his teachings.

The main point behind almost all of Jesus’s lessons were to be kind to each other. I fail to see how telling a person that they are “incompatible” with lessons about kindness, simply because of who they fell in love with, is following Jesus’s teachings. It is simply mean. It serves no purpose other than to make a small-minded person feel big.

Homosexuality is not, nor has it ever been, incompatible with Christian teachings. However, homophobia, and the promulgation of it, IS.

I love my gay families and when you are talking to them, you are talking to ME.

"Straight Pride?" I seriously could not be LESS proud to be straight when I see your stupid shirt

I got asked a question this week. I got asked, "What do you do when someone around you says something against homosexuality?"

It made me think. Not so much about what I do, but how it makes me feel. What I do is, I try to reason. I try to speak eloquently. I try to sway them with my powers of persuasion. And what usually winds up happening is, I want to break their face in with frustration. I feel as though I am pounding my head against a wall and they are laughing at me. I feel as though they enjoy watching me come up with logical arguments that they can spin around into "but, the Bible says so" or "but, it's not natural." No matter what I say, they will not see the facts, but will instead say "let's just agree to disagree."

Fuck that.

You can NOT have your own facts. You can NOT make up your own truth. And, you can NOT harm this next generation and force them back into a closet. At least, you can't do it without a fight.

Because fight you, I will. I don't care if you are 17 or 71, I will not let you get away with your lies. Especially when you try to use a man of peace and inclusion as your front man. Jesus is on your side? Seriously? Because I am positive you make the tiny baby Jesus cry everytime you speak his name.

Because, everytime you put someone down for what they are, for who they love, and for being proud to be themselves, you bring evil into this world. Everytime you tell someone that they are "unnatural", the world gets a little darker. And everytime, you push a person into your ready-made shame and disgust, by telling them that they are wrong and shouldn't exist, you are only a step away from being a murderer.

When you tell someone that their very being is wrong, that they are an abomination, and that they can't have the same basic human rights as everyone else, you kill a little part of them. And when you go out of your way to repeal laws that protect them as people and pass laws that purposely neglect them, you are telling them that they are not as human as the rest of us. And if they aren't as good and can never be as good, what is the use?

And that is when YOU have blood on your hands.

So, go ahead and wear you stupid shirt. You have every right. I also have every right to tell you what a fucking idiot you look like when you do.

Like this:

Make a Vow: Never Be Silent

Yesterday, a move towards justice was made when Judge Walker informed us of what every kindergartner is taught the first day of school: play nice and share. At long last, California law no longer legitimizes the discrimination of gays and lesbians in regards to marriage. This is a victory.

But, this fight is not over. The minds that brought this about still exist. The people who challenged the right to love and to have that love recognized, will not stop. And while it is well and good to make your fight big, it is more important to make it deep.

So talk. Talk about equality. Make them uncomfortable. Drag the bigotry out into the sunshine, where it can die. Talk at work, at school, at home. Talk about it with your friends, your family, with a total stranger. Wear your views where they can be seen. We will drag people, kicking and screaming if we have to, into the 21st century.

Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s not the time, the place, or that’s it’s inappropriate. Equality is NEVER inappropriate. Don’t let them tell you that this is a political issue and that we can “agree to disagree.” I will never agree to disagree. I will never concede that anyone has the right to tell another how to live their life and I will never allow that it is just a political issue. These are people’s LIVES they are playing with here and they cannot be allowed to “agree to disagree.”

Make a vow: Never be silent.
Where there is injustice, speak out.
When a wrong is done to another, defend them.
When you see bigotry, squelch it with truth.
Never be afraid of defending what is right and teach your children the same.
Teach them closets are for clothes, bigotry belongs firmly in the past, and that they are our future.
Tell them that if they don't speak out, no one else will.
Teach them: never be silent.

Small minds :(

I hate this country sometimes. Not the country itself, but some of the people in it. I guess what I really hate is that "We're number one!" attitude that people get that is REALLY saying "The rest of you SUCK!"

I hate that people get so bitter over pressing "one" for English. My gods, if that is REALLY what fucks up your day, then you might want to re-examine your life. I hope you get stuck in a foreign country, poor as a church mouse, trying to learn a language with people looking down their nose at you. Where they make laws taking away your rights just because you look a certain way or act a certain way and then call it "reasonable."

I hate that they complain about jobs being taken by bilingual people, but they won't learn another language themselves. If it is that easy, why don't THEY learn another language? We shouldn't have to, they say. We were here first. Yeah, well I am sure that you can find a Native American to go and commiserate with. Good luck with that.

I just hate that people aren't nice to people who don't look like them, don't sound like them, or don't act exactly like them. I hate that our country is seeming to become more racist by the day and I hate that I see nice people jumping on this bandwagon all under the guise of saving money, saving jobs, and saving our country.

What, exactly, are we saving it for? Are these not the tired, hungry, and poor huddled masses? Would you prefer they came in and took over the land and killed us all? Gave us the proverbial blankets of smallpox? Oh, wait. Those were real. (And that was US.)

So, the ones who came in and committed mass genocide and stole the land and basically raped this continent; they are heroes. The Mexican family down the street working two jobs to try and feed their kids so they may have a better life; well, in Arizona, they'd better have ID on them at all times. And god forbid a family in Alabama can't understand anything at their kids' parent/teacher conference-everything is to be in English now.

So, while everyone is so concerned about jobs, money, and country, they have forgotten our humanity.

Sigh. I hate this country sometimes.