My Surrobabes

Okay, since stress and anger and not good for you, I need to change the subject a little bit. (Not that my stress and anger are not justified, just need a little break)

My surrogate babies. :)

I have been a surrogate mother to four babies. I had them two at a time, but I couldn't decide which sounded better, "four babies" or "two sets of twins"!

My first set was born on May 25, 2006. They were born to two men. They used an egg donor and me. People all the time ask me how I could give the babies up and I tell them I never gave anything up; I gave them back.

The experience was so amazing and wonderful, I had to do it again and I had a second set of twins on Oct. 23, 2007. The second journey was just as wonderful and amazing as the first. Both times we put in three embryos and two held on. Both times we put in two embryos with one dad as the bio dad and one embryo with the other as the bio dad. And both times we got a baby with each dad as the bio dad! We also got the coveted boy/girl combo both times.

I loved being a surrogate. Loved it with all my heart. It was one of the first times in my life where I felt good at something. And I don't just mean the being able to carry a child to term part. I mean, it was easy for me to be pregnant with a child not my own. It was easy for me to say goodbye at the end. That is probably because "good-bye" was really "see you soon" in both cases. I am welcome to contact them and they are welcome to contact me. I get pictures and updates. I am invited to bris', namings, and christenings. I am told that I am "family". :)

It's also easy for me to empathize with the dads. So, I always wanted to do things the way I thought they would want. I was always extra careful with my precious cargo and treated them as if they were my own (better actually). Since both sets of dads live on the other side of the country, I tried especially hard to make sure they felt involved in the pregnancy. A friend of mine helped me to make a mold of my belly and we had all my friends sign it and I sent it to them. I took video and pictures. I called when I felt the baby move for the first time and would let them know about the burgeoning personalities I felt growing in my body. (The girls were always a little feistier)

I know this will come as a shocker to you, but I support gay rights. That includes reproductive rights. It angers me that it is so difficult for gays to have children. Now, I realize that since it doesn't happen "by accident", that they are going to need some help, but my anger lies with the insurance companies. (And I thought I was going to have an "anger-free"post. Huh.) Why don't they make using a surrogate covered? Well, I know, of course. Money. Oh, but no problem providing Viagra to middle-aged farts so they can pretend they are still 18.

(Gently walking backwards, so as not to wake the anger beast I am apparently intent on taunting.)

Okay, surrobabies. I love them. I love their dads. I think everyone should do a surrogacy. (Well, everyone who likes being pregnant, otherwise, I could see it kinda sucking.) I loved telling people about it. I loved when they said "Oh, you must be so excited!" and I'd say "Sure am! So are their parents!" I loved when they'd find out that it was twins and they'd say, "That's going to be a lot of work!" and I'd say "That's why I'm not bringing them home!" Yep, I like to screw with people.

I don't want to publish pictures of the babies (privacy and all), but here's a picture of me, pregnant with the last set. It was taken four days before they were born. I loved that shirt and I was so bummed I only got to wear it once while pregnant. I had planned on wearing it on Halloween that year, but the babies came a little earlier than planned. It still wore it on Halloween, and since I still had a belly, some people thought I still was pregnant! I let them, since it's easier to get people to move out of your way at a Halloween carnival if they think you are pregnant. Oh yeah, I played that card.

I am so proud of my surrogacies. I hold them dear and I have never, not once, regretted doing them. I only wish I could have done more. It is the most amazing, spiritual, life-affirming thing I have ever experienced. I kept those babies safe and those daddies have beautiful families now. Life is good. :)